Limits (and a vent, too!)

Hi everyone!  I hope you had a great weekend!  Mine was great -good friends, family, and food.  It was marvelous.  Today isn't shaping up to be marvelous (all 30 minutes I've been awake...I've already cried twice), so this post is a vent.  Don't feel any obligation to read any further than this if you don't want to.  I'll still be your friend.  :)

 *Sigh*
Everyone has limits, right?  You can only take so much of something before you're reached your maximum limit, and then the dam breaks and everything spills free.  Well.  I have reached my limits.  I am sick of crying every morning when I wake up.  I am sick of only feeling better after I've eaten something.  I am sick of being spoken to like a child.  I am sick of feeling like my life means nothing.  I am sick of feeling like all of the choices I have worked SO hard to have, have been taken away.  I am sick of feeling lonely and friendless (despite my fabulous husband's attempts at female companionship, he just doesn't cut it...sorry babe!).  I am sick of feeling disgusting.  I am sick of...well, I'm sick of me.

I have studied enough psychology to know that I need to talk to someone.  I'm not afraid, I'm not crazy, but I DO think I'm depressed or was, or ...whatever.  I also think I need a life change, so I'm looking around trying to dig up choices that I DO have, instead of looking for the ones I don't.  I'm working on changing my mindset.  Bad to good, down to up, backward to forward, and then to now.  I have this article titled, "How to stay positive in a negative world."  My mom sent it to me when I was in college.  It's been on my dresser until a couple of months ago, when I swear the cat ate it (because she would do that...).  Last week it appeared on my bathroom mirror, and when I looked at my husband, he just smiled and gave me a hug.  Even he knows how hard I'm trying, God bless the poor guy!

So -with all of that pathetic, awful nonsense out of the way, here are just a FEW of the things I am blessed with: an everything imaginable husband, a safe home, 2 working cars, working appendages, my families, my friends (in Virginia and Cincinnati, no matter how far, they make the effort), and my cat (who always seems to need a cuddle just as bad as I do.  My sewing machine (which works no matter how upset I am), my Kitchen aid stand mixer (that always produces the BEST icing), and my creativity (because no matter how bad I think it is, I can always come up with something worse.  Thank you drama-mamma!).

Sure -my life isn't so bad.  But when you're sick of yourself and stuck inside the box, you need a little extra light to help you get out.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer."
~Romans 12:12~

Keep on...