Shapespeare, Emily Dickenson, Shelley, and Yeats had it right. Love is so Awesome as to inspire sonnets and rhymes, while expressions of this feeling can't ever seem to measure up to the real human emotion. You can tell someone in words how you feel, but it never really gets it right. Is this why we grieve for lost loved ones? Hmm.... Regardless -I don't plan on drinking any poison any time soon!
Sometimes I think it is possible to love someone too much. That if you love them that way you'll simply explode. Maybe this is a sign that you shouldn't love them? Then there are other times -most of the time -when I think that this is simply an impossibility. That love is expansive like our view of the universe from Earth. I can imagine that these types of loves are reserved for your spouse and your children, as well as those you already have (like your parents and siblings, etc.).
Yesterday I was thinking about the things in my life that I love, and I can honestly say that I'm in love with the things I've been given. I love my life, I love my gifts, and I love the one I'm with.
For saying a whole lot of nothin' this sure means a lot for me!
I held a Jewel in my fingers --
And went to sleep --
The day was warm, and winds were prosy --
I said "'Twill keep" --
I woke -- and chid my honest fingers,
The Gem was gone --
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
Is all I own --
~E. Dickenson
January 20, 2010
January 19, 2010
If you're happy and you know it....
I've been spending this past couple of days (since my last post...) thinking about the people in my life and what makes them happy. Then, in turn, thinking about my life and what makes me happy. This whole Peace concept has got my brain churning, and it makes it difficult to sleep, at the most.
No matter how amazed I am at this, it takes me the longest to figure out what it is that makes me happy! I can look at Michael and put my finger down, I can look at some of my family and friends and put my finger down, but nope -not me. I'm spending too much time inside my own mind.
The things that make me happy and bring me Peace are the things I don't think about, and when you're upset they're the last things to pop into your thunderclouded mind. Mine -they're simple, so simple that I don't even remember what they are unless I force myself to remember.
They're simple -not complex, and most extremely lovely. Just like these.... I love giggles. Especially of the baby variety. They're usually short and somewhat grunt like, but they're like the swine flu -really contageous! I love hot tea and the way it clears my mind. Naps -a must for any emotional healing.... I also enjoy cuddles. Not the general kind, but the special kind that warms you up from the inside out, like hot chocolate. The kind where you know that life is moving around you, but it doesn't matter.
I used to believe that everyone needed to experience all emotions at least once a day. Not at the same time, but to be a compassionate human, you need to experience them. Well -maybe and maybe not, but to help me be compassionate, well rounded, and healthy, I have come up with a general list of 8 things that I love. Sure, they're just things, but...I'm just a person.
1. Slurpees
2. Hydrangie flowers
3. Porches
4. White and Navy Tualle
5. Singing
6. Children
7. Tulle
and the newest and most worthy addition...
8. Michael
This is my list...what does yours look like?
"Your melod sounds as sweet as the first time it was sung.... I'm puttin' out the lantern, find your own way home."
~"Folkin' Around" by Panic! At the Disco
PS -my spell check button is gone....
No matter how amazed I am at this, it takes me the longest to figure out what it is that makes me happy! I can look at Michael and put my finger down, I can look at some of my family and friends and put my finger down, but nope -not me. I'm spending too much time inside my own mind.
The things that make me happy and bring me Peace are the things I don't think about, and when you're upset they're the last things to pop into your thunderclouded mind. Mine -they're simple, so simple that I don't even remember what they are unless I force myself to remember.
They're simple -not complex, and most extremely lovely. Just like these.... I love giggles. Especially of the baby variety. They're usually short and somewhat grunt like, but they're like the swine flu -really contageous! I love hot tea and the way it clears my mind. Naps -a must for any emotional healing.... I also enjoy cuddles. Not the general kind, but the special kind that warms you up from the inside out, like hot chocolate. The kind where you know that life is moving around you, but it doesn't matter.
I used to believe that everyone needed to experience all emotions at least once a day. Not at the same time, but to be a compassionate human, you need to experience them. Well -maybe and maybe not, but to help me be compassionate, well rounded, and healthy, I have come up with a general list of 8 things that I love. Sure, they're just things, but...I'm just a person.
1. Slurpees
2. Hydrangie flowers
3. Porches
4. White and Navy Tualle
5. Singing
6. Children
7. Tulle
and the newest and most worthy addition...
8. Michael
This is my list...what does yours look like?
"Your melod sounds as sweet as the first time it was sung.... I'm puttin' out the lantern, find your own way home."
~"Folkin' Around" by Panic! At the Disco
PS -my spell check button is gone....
January 14, 2010
Diet Pepsi, Cigaretts, and Brass Band
I have often wondered if those who have passed on miss us as much as we miss them. As I awoke this morning I believe this to be true without a doubt. My Grandma Winnie always smelled like stale Camels with a hint of Diet Pepsi. And that is what my mouth tasted like as I pounded snooze. Dreaming of a loved one is uplifting and sad at the same time. I miss her, but she gives me some sort of unspoken peace. I'm not sure I can explain it, but today I was brave.
Today I smiled, sang, danced, and conducted my way through the day. I'm not sure I understand what happens while I sleep, but -I'd be okay if she came to visit every now and then, sharing her strength with me.
:o)
Today I smiled, sang, danced, and conducted my way through the day. I'm not sure I understand what happens while I sleep, but -I'd be okay if she came to visit every now and then, sharing her strength with me.
:o)
January 13, 2010
Snooze: covered in butter.
Yesterday was an exceptionally long day. It stared off with a smiling Briana, and ended with a smiling Briana. This...this is good news. The bad news is that my Anatomy class is a HUGE BUST! Very disappointing.
The professor really started off on the wrong foot. She was LATE! Professors shouldn't be late to their first class, especially if they expect their students to be EARLY. Bad. Then, her accent prevented me from understanding over half of what she was saying. I'm sorry -but if you expect me to understand, I have to be able to understand you. Again -bad. Next, she had no structure to her lecture, and was the MOST disorganized professor I had ever experienced. So I left. I walked out of her lecture in the middle of what I assumed was a short off chute of a discussion on electrolytes. No matter. Between her talking too fast, the osther students in the class discussing pay checks, children, and the Colts I was quickly reminded of why I hated being in classrooms with students who were not on a mission, like me. If I pay an exorbitant amount of money for a service, I like to enjoy the process. Like my mother and father I like to get it done and move on.
So I decided, as I was crying in the car (and to my very supportive husband) on my way to Chamber Singers rehearsal that I wasn't going to do it. I'm just not. I have too many things in my life that I actually enjoy, that take up HUGE amounts of time, to be stressed out for four hours a week with people who obviously lack respect for learning. Instead of sitting in class for the second hour I spent it singing Bach in German, and Mozart in Latin. This is where I belong.
End discussion on bad professor. Moving on to Peace, a much better and more worthy subject!
So....
Today, Peace is equal to the snooze button on my telephone. I know this is random, but I can't help what I dream! There is nothing like the type of sleep where your body weighs a thousand pounds and is wrapped in balnkets of snuggilyness! The strange part is that I seem to think that it's even better when it's covered in butter?
I was dreaming this morning when my phone went of and I slapped snooze three times. I was dreaming...right?!? Yes -I hope. If not, Saphira will have had a day full of buttery treats! In this state of delirum, I was laying in my bed and everything around me was food and all covered in butter! This may be due to my food obsession, or it could have to do with the fact that Julia Childs once said that everything was better with butter, and because of my food obsession my Id seemed to find it a worthy subject. I'd like to think it was the latter...but there's no telling either way!
So I've spent my whole morning, and some of this afternoon, thinking about butter and dreams, and the grace my snooze button provides. It may be crazy, but it sure makes me smile!
I'll settle for a smile, every now and then. Today, Peace = snooze: covered in butter!
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
The professor really started off on the wrong foot. She was LATE! Professors shouldn't be late to their first class, especially if they expect their students to be EARLY. Bad. Then, her accent prevented me from understanding over half of what she was saying. I'm sorry -but if you expect me to understand, I have to be able to understand you. Again -bad. Next, she had no structure to her lecture, and was the MOST disorganized professor I had ever experienced. So I left. I walked out of her lecture in the middle of what I assumed was a short off chute of a discussion on electrolytes. No matter. Between her talking too fast, the osther students in the class discussing pay checks, children, and the Colts I was quickly reminded of why I hated being in classrooms with students who were not on a mission, like me. If I pay an exorbitant amount of money for a service, I like to enjoy the process. Like my mother and father I like to get it done and move on.
So I decided, as I was crying in the car (and to my very supportive husband) on my way to Chamber Singers rehearsal that I wasn't going to do it. I'm just not. I have too many things in my life that I actually enjoy, that take up HUGE amounts of time, to be stressed out for four hours a week with people who obviously lack respect for learning. Instead of sitting in class for the second hour I spent it singing Bach in German, and Mozart in Latin. This is where I belong.
End discussion on bad professor. Moving on to Peace, a much better and more worthy subject!
So....
Today, Peace is equal to the snooze button on my telephone. I know this is random, but I can't help what I dream! There is nothing like the type of sleep where your body weighs a thousand pounds and is wrapped in balnkets of snuggilyness! The strange part is that I seem to think that it's even better when it's covered in butter?
I was dreaming this morning when my phone went of and I slapped snooze three times. I was dreaming...right?!? Yes -I hope. If not, Saphira will have had a day full of buttery treats! In this state of delirum, I was laying in my bed and everything around me was food and all covered in butter! This may be due to my food obsession, or it could have to do with the fact that Julia Childs once said that everything was better with butter, and because of my food obsession my Id seemed to find it a worthy subject. I'd like to think it was the latter...but there's no telling either way!
So I've spent my whole morning, and some of this afternoon, thinking about butter and dreams, and the grace my snooze button provides. It may be crazy, but it sure makes me smile!
I'll settle for a smile, every now and then. Today, Peace = snooze: covered in butter!
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
-- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
January 12, 2010
Pax en et gratias....
Day two, journeying to Peace and I've managed to stay happy all day. None of my personal nuances have given me trouble, and thanks to my fabulous better half, who recommended this daily bit of Peace, have had my sights focused on my daily Peace. Surprisingly, I have smiled all the way through my day!
Tonight is my second Bloomington Chamber Singers rehearsal (YAY!). We're working on Mozart's Missa en Ut Mineur(Mass in C minor) and we're doing it in Anglican Latin (as opposed to German Latin). I'm a HUGE fan of Anglican Latin, and have been enjoying the week in between rehearsals spending little snippets of time looking through my score and picking it to bits. Because I'm a self proclaimed music nerd, I've attached a wikipedia link for fun. I know wikipedia isn't reliable, however it's the most accessible for the non-music folk. They have recordings listed at the bottom of the page. Enjoy!
My thought for today is somewhat of a continuation of yesterday in that I am simply amazed in two things. First is how something so simple as an exhausting rehearsal at the end of the day could give this fish out of water a breath of life. I sit at a desk doing everything but what I've been gifted to do in my life and at the end of the work day I can leave work and it's strings at the office and jump back into the water where I am comfortable and at peace. My second amazement is that of the frame of mind. I walked down the stairs in our beautiful yellow hallway this morning smiling, and thought to myself, "self! You're so lucky today! Your husband is up and at school and after work today you can celebrate the human body (anatomy class...) and sing to your heart's desire. How did you get this day?!?"
This daily bit of Peace is helping me walk through the doors instead of making them open...one day at a time. It's making me take a deep breath and remind myself that I am blessed, loved, and exceptionally lucky. 'Ain't it amazing.
"A smile is the beginning of Peace."
~Mother Theresa
Tonight is my second Bloomington Chamber Singers rehearsal (YAY!). We're working on Mozart's Missa en Ut Mineur(Mass in C minor) and we're doing it in Anglican Latin (as opposed to German Latin). I'm a HUGE fan of Anglican Latin, and have been enjoying the week in between rehearsals spending little snippets of time looking through my score and picking it to bits. Because I'm a self proclaimed music nerd, I've attached a wikipedia link for fun. I know wikipedia isn't reliable, however it's the most accessible for the non-music folk. They have recordings listed at the bottom of the page. Enjoy!
My thought for today is somewhat of a continuation of yesterday in that I am simply amazed in two things. First is how something so simple as an exhausting rehearsal at the end of the day could give this fish out of water a breath of life. I sit at a desk doing everything but what I've been gifted to do in my life and at the end of the work day I can leave work and it's strings at the office and jump back into the water where I am comfortable and at peace. My second amazement is that of the frame of mind. I walked down the stairs in our beautiful yellow hallway this morning smiling, and thought to myself, "self! You're so lucky today! Your husband is up and at school and after work today you can celebrate the human body (anatomy class...) and sing to your heart's desire. How did you get this day?!?"
This daily bit of Peace is helping me walk through the doors instead of making them open...one day at a time. It's making me take a deep breath and remind myself that I am blessed, loved, and exceptionally lucky. 'Ain't it amazing.
"A smile is the beginning of Peace."
~Mother Theresa
January 11, 2010
Journey, day 1
I've always thought that I'd have something clever to put on my first blog post but that really isn't my style. I'm more of the heart-felt, mushy-gushy, and often happy-go-lucky type. With that being said, I have my first (blogable) tale to tell of my journey.
Spending time with friends is invaluable. You forget, because your own life is so busy and full of the nonsenses of every day life, how awesome they can be. I had the opportunity to visit with my best of best friends over Christmas, and it didn't dawn on me then how special it was to see them. I pray that I don't take them for granted, but laying in bed last night I remembered how fabulous they all are. They were fresh in my mind because I had just spent some time with my about-to-pop Bloomington friend (... ;o) ...) over a cup of much needed tea and a nice long chat. We were discussing our lives (families, husbands, her children, how to save money (and spend it!), and what we need as wives (and even more so, those of students). It was exceptionally reassuring to know that someone else feels the way I feel and thinks along the same lines. While talking, I came to the conclusion that life is so tough! I also came to the conclusion that it is this way because we make it so. Isn't that amazing that everything can change with one simple rearrangement of your thought processes? So instead I decided that....
Life is so beautiful! During our discussion, I was reminded of how beautiful our little blessings can be. The Priesters have a healthy marriage, two healthy (human and pet) bodies, a safe home, working cars, money to sustain us, etc, etc, etc.... I could write on, but I think you get the picture!
Just like I know I value my far-far away friends, I know I value my life and all of it's blessings but have never taken time to look for the Peace in my life. So the goal of this journey is to find something in my life that brings me Peace. I'll try not to double dip, but I can't make any promises. So today, the thing I am finding Peace in is my husband. He is the bedrock to my oceanic turmoil, and keeps me grounded when all of the things in my mind get too heavy. It is my sincerest hope that today I can find Peace in myself, if only for a little while. That's what the journey is all about!
"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal."
~MLK, Jr.
Spending time with friends is invaluable. You forget, because your own life is so busy and full of the nonsenses of every day life, how awesome they can be. I had the opportunity to visit with my best of best friends over Christmas, and it didn't dawn on me then how special it was to see them. I pray that I don't take them for granted, but laying in bed last night I remembered how fabulous they all are. They were fresh in my mind because I had just spent some time with my about-to-pop Bloomington friend (... ;o) ...) over a cup of much needed tea and a nice long chat. We were discussing our lives (families, husbands, her children, how to save money (and spend it!), and what we need as wives (and even more so, those of students). It was exceptionally reassuring to know that someone else feels the way I feel and thinks along the same lines. While talking, I came to the conclusion that life is so tough! I also came to the conclusion that it is this way because we make it so. Isn't that amazing that everything can change with one simple rearrangement of your thought processes? So instead I decided that....
Life is so beautiful! During our discussion, I was reminded of how beautiful our little blessings can be. The Priesters have a healthy marriage, two healthy (human and pet) bodies, a safe home, working cars, money to sustain us, etc, etc, etc.... I could write on, but I think you get the picture!
Just like I know I value my far-far away friends, I know I value my life and all of it's blessings but have never taken time to look for the Peace in my life. So the goal of this journey is to find something in my life that brings me Peace. I'll try not to double dip, but I can't make any promises. So today, the thing I am finding Peace in is my husband. He is the bedrock to my oceanic turmoil, and keeps me grounded when all of the things in my mind get too heavy. It is my sincerest hope that today I can find Peace in myself, if only for a little while. That's what the journey is all about!
"Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal."
~MLK, Jr.
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