My Sweet Husband...

...just called from his first day as, "Professor Priester" just to say this:  Oh my God, babe.  It's...it's...it's....
Me: It's happening...?
Prof P: Yeah.  I mean...it's...I'm ....I'm here...I have a job.  I do.  I..I...I...*garble garble excited garble*  HOLY CRAP!


I hope everyone's Monday is as good as his.
*Hugs*

Fashionista In The House!

It's true.  I am finally getting with it where fashion's concerned.  I bought my very first pair of REAL leggings this summer with my girl Suze, from Suze Wears Clothes, I have ordered a pair of jeggings AND a pair of moccisains.  I'm on a roll.

And next....THE WORLD!  Mwaahahahaha.

Just kidding...only partly.  You see, it's been really stressful trying to wear clothes that fit me and make me look good.  Embrace me, instead of make me look more like Humpty-Dumpty.  I've been to ON, and tried on THREE sizes and styles of skinny jeans and they just looked horrible.  Baggy here, muffin top there, too much at the calf.  It's ridiculous.

But it's over now, I've stepped into the land of fashion and am leaving those ill-fitting skinnies behind.

Adios, poorly-made-wanna-be's!

Hello faaaabulous me!  :)

Happy Sunday!

I Felt Sorry For Him Until...

So my fabulous husband, you know -the one who was recently very sick and just broke his arm? -has like, a million jobs.  He works for half a million orchestras in the state of Indiana, some in Pennsylvania, teaches in PA, AND plays for Pittsburgh Opera, on top of being a campus bus supervisor for IU.  So the guy has a crazy schedule, yeah?  Well this hilarious story is a product of his schedule!  Enjoy!  :)


So I'm sleeping really terribly (not a trend I am a fan of), and I'm finally all taco-ed up in the blankets.  Do you know what taco-ing the blankets is?  Ok -side explanation.

The bed taco: when you are sleeping by yourself and are always so bloody cold, you lay on your back, and turn allll the way to one side and tuck the covers underneath you.  Then, you repeat on the other side, making yourself into a nice little taco.  I am frequently known as the "Briana taco" at our house.  IT'S AMAZING and WILL change your life.

Ahem, anyway....

I'm finally somewhat asleep, all taco-ed up, when all of a sudden, *WHAP*!!!  I have have been smacked in the head by the guilt-causing-cast-of-doom (you read that right.  This is no normal cast!!!).  The cast that is attached to the husband, who is coming in from a late night bus shift...at 1:45am.  It's not enough that I wake up every morning clutching it all white knuckled out of guilt -like I pushed the fates juuuust a tad too far, and they decided that in order to get him to see a doc for his cold, they had to break his wrist.  You know what I'm sayin'?  So I've just been brained by the cast....

Uhm -OUCH!  Bloody, gosh darn OUCH!

I mean -sure, it may be dark, but GEEZUS!  Wife sleeping!  I was feeling sorry for the guy, especially about hating on his being sick and stuff, until he just busted into the bed like a bull in a china shop, waving his cast around like mad man, hitting me on the head.  This is NOT a Bunny-Foo-Foo/Field Mice situation.  No fairy's going to come down from Fairy Land and save me from this maniac.  What am I to do?

What does a faithful, somewhat recently unsympathetic wife to do?  What to do....

Here are the choices that I came up with at 1:45am:
First: punch him back?  Not wise -I don't want to hurt his feelings...again, you know...and he is wearing a fiberglass cast.... PASS!
Second: give him my absolutely perfected death stare?  No...that just makes him giggle, darn him.
Third: mumble some profanities and roll back over?  YES!  It is never too early for a well mumbled, unintelligible curse or two.

So after sticking it to him, (haha...) I finally decide to lay back down, grumble about being un-taco-ed and get back to sleeping.  My shift only starts at 5:30 in the morning....

I wish I could tell you that he got the memo, but while I was drifting back to the glorious bliss of being taco-ed, he turned the light on.  At 1:45am.

Don't worry.  He's still alive.  Good thing he has that cast on his wrist.....


Happy Friday!  :)

Infinity DOES NOT Equal Patience!

If we're buddies on Pinterest you know that I am OBSESSED with all of the fabulous infinity scarves everyone is pinning.  I mean -they keep your neck warm AND they look fab.  I'm totally down for having both of those things!  Well, I decided that I HAD, absolutely, without a doubt HAD to make one for myself.

So I get home and harass the saintly husband into trying on EVERY pair of pj pants he has.  After selecting two that are particularly funny (holes in juuuuust the right places, and just not enough space for the getto booty...), I set to work.

I start cutting and snipping, while chatting away to my AMAZING sister on Skype, who lives in NC.  I was listening to her talk about work, life, decorating her home, and just being DIY fabulous.  I PROMISE I was listening.  I always listen...I swear.  *cough*  So I'm realizing that...it's quiet.  She's not talking anymore.  She's just staring at me.

"Briana...what are you doing?"

"Oh -well I'm just going to whip out an infinity scarf!"

"Cool, but...do you have a plan?"

"What do you mean?  I plan to make a scarf from these pj's!"

*Eye roll*  "No, Briana.  Do you have a plan?"  At this point, I'm realizing that she means for the cutting and sewing.

Feeling completely useless with my fun yellow scissors, I look at her and say, "I'm just going to cut here, and sew here."

*Another eye roll* and 20 seconds later, she has a perfect pattern drawn for me, and as I'm staring at the computer trying to figure it out, my light bulb finally turns on!

Measure twice, cut once!  Ahhh-ha!  Easier said than done.

Three hours later, my sister has gone to bed, I've broken two machine needles, but gosh darn it my scarf is amaaaz....wait....why is that...inside out?  INSIDE OUT???  BLOODY INSIDE OUT?

*sigh*

I'll just stick to story telling. :)

{This post is dedicated to my amazing sister and my mother who tried to teach me to measure twice, cut once, and always iron your seam.  I'm 25% there!  Aren't you proud?}

Allow Extra Time...

....to get into your amazing new sports bra.  It should be a competition in the olympics, as far as I'm concerned.  I'll explain.

Remember last week, when I posted this about sports bra's?  If not -you should go read it.  It's pretty funny....

Well, they've come in (*happy dance*) and I've finally put them to good use.  They're SUPER hard core. They look a little like this:

Sorry....  I couldn't make the picture any smaller.  That's what happens when the big bitties need an intense sports bra.    

ANYWAY...

So I'm getting ready to do some zumba.  I've gotten this AMAZING zumba DVD kit in the mail and I'm excited to get started (wouldn't you???)!!!  So I head upstairs after my morning shift at work and dig this puppy out of it's nicely wrapped package.  I undo the back (because the big bitties need EXTRA hooks...) and start to put it on.  I wiggle and jiggle, squat and groan, and FINALLY it goes over my shoulders.  Is that my right arm tingling from lack of circulation?  Nevermind....

So I take a breather.  A couple of seconds and I'm back in the game, walking myself in circles trying to hook the back.  Too bad bra wearing isn't considered the work-out.  I was seriously starting to sweat it!  Before I realized that I had a little extra room than just a second ago, *SLAP* the bloody strap HITS ME IN THE FACE!!!  I don't know about you, but I started looking for a ninja...  *chuckle*  Just kidding about the ninja, but I did look around to see if anyone saw it hit me in the face...in my house...in the bedroom...where I'm all by myself.  *cough*

So I sigh and take a closer look.  These straps are VELCRO!  GENIUS!  Big bitties + velcro = most amazing idea in the world.  Because while you're fighting with the back everything can just hang out (as in: chill, hang tight, relax..etc...get my drift? heh heh...) until you've gotten that part hooked.  All 6 hooks...that's right!  SIX.  So I'm dancing around in circles trying to get the back hooked.  FINALLY I get it hooked.  Now huffing and puffing, I look down to assess the strap situation.

One side of the most intense sports bra in the world is hanging down, and the other side is velcro'd up so high that my shoulder is rubbing my ear lobe.  Chuckling, and thinking that I'm a genius, I just undo the other side.  Instantly realizing I had made a poor decision, I began to consider my options.

First: call for help and be ridiculed by my husband (whom I have recently ridiculed about being very sick...)?  NO WAY

Second: consider laying down and taking a nap, and just dealing with it later?  Perhaps...

Third: bend over, stick my butt in the air and grab for the straps?  DING DING DING!  WINNEEERRRRRR!!!

So I'm dangling upside down, still huffing and puffing for air, grabbing at straps.  First one, then the other, then one must do the, "I'm wearing a harness" jump.  If you don't know what that means, it goes something like this:  Lean over ridiculously far, shake like a wet dog, and then pull on whatever you've got and do a little jump.

EURIKA!!!

I've done it.  I've gotten the world's most intense sports bra on.  And it only took me TEN WHOLE MINUTES.

Next time, I'll just plan on putting on and taking off the sports bra five or six times, and that should have me covered for the day's exercise.

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one....  Please?  :)

Happy Thursday, y'all!

{JINXED!!!}

Oh the agony -oh the sadness -oh the TERRIBLE WIFE-ING I have been doing!!!

Remember in my last post, how I complained about my husband's whiny sickness?  Well it's come back to bite me in the booty, because I think I've jinxed us!

The Michael was finally feeling better today, so he went to work.  He spent the entire shift de-icing and scraping off busses, and putting up with skittish drivers.  Then he comes home, gets out of his car, and BOOM!

HE FALLS!!!

I get the text message as I'm leaving work, and it's only three miles home, but it was THE LONGEST three miles of my life.  Poor guy!

So I get home, feel his wrist and for sure, something's out of place!!!  I rush him to prompt care (while, by the way, he's carrying on normal conversations and laughing about my ridiculous jokes), tell the lady that he's hurt, and we wait.

Once the waiting has been done, we go back to the exam room, and they take his temperature.  I'm pulled out of my stupor by her response, "Well my dear, you sure HAVE had a rough day.  Hurt wrist AND a fever of 101?"  My mouth drops open, "NO WAY!"  Of course she's a judgemental nurse and she replies with, "you've know he's been sick for how long?"

UGH!  What a witch!  What a....what a....what a terrible wife!  I've spent the week telling him that he's fine, and now -NOW he's got a broken wrist AND a sinus infection.

*sigh*  Full blown wife failure.

Next time I'll just take him straight to prompt care so he doesn't have to break his wrist just to get my attention.

Tomorrow we treck to the hospital for casting.  I'm voting for the pink cast, but somehow I know that my opinion won't be important tomorrow.  Say a prayer for me -I'm gonna need it.


Happy Saturday, to you! ...and, mind the ice!

When He Said, "I'm sick."

I am one luck gal!  I have a saint for a husband.  He's amazing -he listens to me chatter endlessly about silly things, supports me when I'm feeling down, and even makes me giggle by going out of his comfort zone to be silly.

But you know what I dread?  Those three simple words....

"Babe, I'm sick."


UUUuuuughhhh!!!!  *cringe*  Nooooo!!

Men are the WORST sick people ever.  When I'm ill, I curl up in a warm snuggily place, take lots of drugs, and drink 7up-zero until I'm feeling human again.  Do you think that I could be so lucky in that my husband does the same thing?

Nope!

Let me give you an example of how "sick Michael" is around our house (this can be a little like "where's waldo").  Where is Michael?  Is he in the bed?  Nope.  Hmm....is he in the bathroom?  Nope.  Is the Michael on the sofa?  Nope... Hmm....  What's that I hear?  The SICK Michael is practicing the bass?  The sick Michael is writing to our congressman?  The sick Michael is on the phone...WITH HIS MOTHER?

*face palm*  There's NO hope!

Please allow me to fill you in on how the week of sickness has been....  *clears throat for story telling*
Tuesday night: endless coughing, so bad he gets the hiccups!  Then, instead of taking some meds, he wants to cuddle.  You read that right -I said CUDDLE...with the hiccups...and the plague.

Wednesday night: drug induced bliss -I convinced the guy to take everything we could find (don't worry -he's still alive...and coughing...).  I made it through with only one elbow to his ribs to roll over and stop snoring.

Thursday night: "cough-cooooooughhhhh-uuuughhhh-coooouuughhhhhh-cuuuuhhhhh-huuuuuhhhooouuughhh....." THE ENTIRE NIGHT.  The man doesn't understand the concept of polite coughing!  Uhm -hello -ANGRY LADY TRYING TO SLEEP, HERE!  Also, we have a perfectly nice and comfy sofa.  It didn't call his name until 7am, when I had to get up anyway.  *sigh*

So he says to me this morning, "Babe, don't be mad at me!  Be mad at the cold"

I almost punched the saint in the face.  How's that for compassion?

Sick husbands are the worst!


Happy Friday!  :)

Christmas on Elm

Happy (late) Christmas (what did you expect...you know me better than this!)!!!!

This year, husband and I spent the holiday at my in-laws.  I'm not sure if that will ever happen again, but it was definitely very nice for a one-off holiday.  My in-laws are amazing people, but it just didn't feel like Christmas.  My sister and I talked, because my parents deserted us and WENT ON A CRUISE, and decided that we'd fight tooth and nail to be together again for Christmas.  Anyway -here are some photos of our VERY quiet, and peaceful, Christmas.  Enjoy!

{Christmas Blocks I made for Jayne last year!  This one says, "Believe"}

{The Daphnie Cat vs The Dept. 56 Ice Skaters}

{Molly, the Springer.  She belongs to my in-laws}

{The Saphira -our sweet Sussex Spaniel}

Hope you had a wonderful holiday, and a great 18 days of 2012!!!


Keep on keepin' on!

Body Bar Strength {Sports Bra NOT Optional}

I don't do resolutions.  I figure, if I'm going to do it, I don't need a time marker, or a new year to get started.  Well, it just so happens that the new year coincided with a significant schedule change, (finally) allowing time for exercise.  This is wonderful, since I've gained like...80-trillion pounds.  This sounds like an exaggeration, but I'm not joking.  It's bad news bears.

Anyway -so today, I venture to my first exercise class at IU's rec center.  I was prepared for lots of skinny sorority girls flocking to the exercise room, so I wasn't surprised to see multiple shades of pink, lots of cute work out pants, and...wait -what was that I just happened to see?  Sports bra's.  INTENSE sports bra's.  This gets me thinking.....

This class is called, "body bar STRENGTH, right?" I ask one of the skinnies.  She stares back, body checks me (you know about the body check, right?  Skinny girls do it to fat ones, and think that we don't realize it happens.  *eye roll* -anyway...), and replies, "yeah, like -totally body sculpting."  And walks away.

EXCELLENT!  Body sculpting...not cardio.  I'm not convinced.  You see, I'm worried because I'm wearing one of those cheep-o sports bra's from Wal-mart.  It's like a bra-shaped t-shirt.  You know the type...??  I've outgrown ALL my others, and if I shimmy into this one, they stay ok for things like...walking and riding the bike.  I'm good at those.

So the teacher comes in, we get our stuff, and get started.  WITH SQUATS (what a warm-up!).  I'm panicked.  I check the clock -in despair, I see that I've only been exercising FOR FIVE MINUTES.  *Insert inward groan*  "Ok, lets ad in some cardio.  We're going to add a hop in between the bicep curls"  WHAAAT?  A HOP?  WHYYY????  She's all smily in the mirror with her itty-bitties, hopping all around.  She looks like she's made to hop around.  Gasping for air, I turn and look at my reflection.  In horror, I see my big-bitties moving more than THE REST OF ME.

OH THE SHAAAAMEE!!!!

I was not meant to hop!  I was specially designed to...do ANYTHING but HOP!  I am not a hopper -I do things like...Warrior 1 and 2, and I'm EXCELLENT at Child's Pose!

So after we were finished (and I'm completely exhausted), I crawled myself to the exit (oohhhh blessed exit!), got to my car, and called my mom.

"MOM!!!"
"What, baby?"
"You'll NEVER guess what just happened to me.  Are you sitting down?"
"Yeah -why?  Are you ok?"
"Yes, it's just that the funniest thing happened to me in a non-cardio body sculpting class...."
*Insert 30 minutes of ab-shaking laughter*

Two special big-bitty sports bra's are currently en route to my home.




Happy Tuesday!

The "Perfect" Friend

{Warning -this sounds a little looney-tunes, but if you read it with sarcasm, you'll get my drift!  ;)  }

Who has one?  C'mon -raise your hand.  I TOTALLY know that you do...and I bet she makes you crazy?  Mine sure does!  Did yours send out a Christmas card?  Are you shaking your head?  Well -if she didn't, keep reading.  I'll share my "perfect" friend with you, and hopefully some laughs, too!

So here's what you already know:
First: I'm coming off of full time student status, the husband is too -Christmas cards were sent AFTER Christmas!
Second: I can't ever manage to get anything done (especially on time...)
Third: I can't stand people who are perfect on the outside -there's a bigger, undiscovered crack on the inside (if you didn't know this, you do now.  Apply directly...)!
Fourth (OK -you didn't know this one, but it's true): She's not a perfect friend.  She considers herself too busy to even respond to a text message (they're not weird or anything!  I PROMISE.  They say things like, "hey!  Just thinking of you!  Hope you're well"  You'd respond to that, RIGHT???)

So -I get a Christmas card from a college friend.  Actually, she used to be more than just a friend, but that's a different story.  I open up the card, really excited!  She hasn't bothered to write/call/text back, so getting a Christmas card was VERY exciting.  So I open it and see six pictures of her and her husband smiling back at me.  I start to fume....

These aren't just ANY pictures -these are PERFECT pictures.  WHO DOES THAT???  They're staged -lighting is perfect -their clothes match -and they're in idillic places.  I REPEAT -WHO DOES THAT?  I seriously can't manage to get myself put together, let along arrange to have my picture taken perfectly AT LEAST six times.

Anyway.

So I look over at my husband, who's staring at me (probably afraid for his personal safety, at this moment in time...), and say, "don't judge me!" as I rip the card into as many little pieces as I possibly can.  HA!  This perfect little photo Christmas card, with a bunch of little smiling faces is now floating through the air back down towards my grinning face.

A girl can only handle so much, you know?

So as I'm prancing around the dining room, shuffling around the pieces of this perfect little photo card, I start to feel a little guilty.  The card stock was really nice -I could have reused it!!!  I mean, this girl is NEVER going to know that I got some joy out of ripping up a little piece of "perfect", right?  It's not like I'm gonna call her (and leave a message like I would normally have), and say, "hey!  So thanks for the card, I ripped it up and danced on it.  Yeah -what's that?  Well...I did it because it made me feel better."

NOT GONNA' HAPPEN!

So -don't give my secret away, ok?  Not that she'll ever find my blog, call me back, or anything....  It can be our little world wide web secret!  ;)

HAPPY MONDAYYYY!!!!!

Crisis Averted!

So remember last time...when I posted about how I was having a blog-dentity crisis?  I think the crisis has been averted!  I'm going to call myself a "lifestyle blog" and write about whatever I want.  :)  Doesn't that sound exciting?  So you lucky ducks will get to read about funny posts, photo related posts, and anything else that happens to cross into my path.  Sometimes...(get ready for it!!!)...I even CRAFT!  *gasp*  So basically, I'm going to be the same as I have always been, but hopefully a little bit better!

Are you ready for the blog you never knew you needed to read?  The blog that will make you laugh so hard, you pee you desk chair?  Yeah -be ready.

Blog-dentity Crisis!

Every time I post in my little corner of cyber space, I am surprised at how long it's been since my last post.  When did my life go from zero to 100mph (I forget that this happens when you have a 3 hour drive to school every day!!!)?  There's good news, though!  I finished my coursework and between now and June when my internship starts I'll be back to a "normal" life (whatever that means for me!).  This means working full time, managing my home once more, cooking and meal planning, and just getting my feet back on the ground.  My own brand of normal.

So all of this is amazing -exciting -wonderful -and....well...and a little overwhelming.  But I'm ready!  Now I have time to sit, time to think, and time to spend more time being me and less time being the student/wive/classmate/coworker/friend-a-pist/cheerleader.   The ultimate question here is what to write about...what to focus on...what do I actually want to say?

Do I hear you asking me if I'm having a blog-dentity crisis?  So nice of you to ask, and the answer is ....  *drum roll*

Why yes -yes I am!

While I'm enjoying everyone else's blogs, I find myself thinking, "WOW!  I want to do that!" or, "Oh man!  I need to do a post on _________ (fill in the blank with lots of different things like: photography, fashion -DON'T LAUGH, Haleigh..., crafts like sewing, cooking, bread making, and music making).  All of these things are a part of who I am, and I just can't decide.  It doesn't keep me up at night very long yet.

Originally, I started this blog because I was in a situation where I needed a place to feel validated -you know, a place I could always go that made me feel good, didn't argue back, and thought that I was wonderful.  For that period of time, it really served it's purpose.  If you're still a reader, you know that I went back to school for my passion, and I'm pretty sure that Priester's Peace deserves a little credit for empowering me to follow my heart.

So back to the blog-dentity crisis.  What to do...what to say....  My vote: sleep (or not sleep...) on it!  :)  Maybe this little cliff-hanger will draw you back, yes?  :)  I hope so!

Keep on keepin' on!