Body Bar Strength {Sports Bra NOT Optional}

I don't do resolutions.  I figure, if I'm going to do it, I don't need a time marker, or a new year to get started.  Well, it just so happens that the new year coincided with a significant schedule change, (finally) allowing time for exercise.  This is wonderful, since I've gained like...80-trillion pounds.  This sounds like an exaggeration, but I'm not joking.  It's bad news bears.

Anyway -so today, I venture to my first exercise class at IU's rec center.  I was prepared for lots of skinny sorority girls flocking to the exercise room, so I wasn't surprised to see multiple shades of pink, lots of cute work out pants, and...wait -what was that I just happened to see?  Sports bra's.  INTENSE sports bra's.  This gets me thinking.....

This class is called, "body bar STRENGTH, right?" I ask one of the skinnies.  She stares back, body checks me (you know about the body check, right?  Skinny girls do it to fat ones, and think that we don't realize it happens.  *eye roll* -anyway...), and replies, "yeah, like -totally body sculpting."  And walks away.

EXCELLENT!  Body sculpting...not cardio.  I'm not convinced.  You see, I'm worried because I'm wearing one of those cheep-o sports bra's from Wal-mart.  It's like a bra-shaped t-shirt.  You know the type...??  I've outgrown ALL my others, and if I shimmy into this one, they stay ok for things like...walking and riding the bike.  I'm good at those.

So the teacher comes in, we get our stuff, and get started.  WITH SQUATS (what a warm-up!).  I'm panicked.  I check the clock -in despair, I see that I've only been exercising FOR FIVE MINUTES.  *Insert inward groan*  "Ok, lets ad in some cardio.  We're going to add a hop in between the bicep curls"  WHAAAT?  A HOP?  WHYYY????  She's all smily in the mirror with her itty-bitties, hopping all around.  She looks like she's made to hop around.  Gasping for air, I turn and look at my reflection.  In horror, I see my big-bitties moving more than THE REST OF ME.

OH THE SHAAAAMEE!!!!

I was not meant to hop!  I was specially designed to...do ANYTHING but HOP!  I am not a hopper -I do things like...Warrior 1 and 2, and I'm EXCELLENT at Child's Pose!

So after we were finished (and I'm completely exhausted), I crawled myself to the exit (oohhhh blessed exit!), got to my car, and called my mom.

"MOM!!!"
"What, baby?"
"You'll NEVER guess what just happened to me.  Are you sitting down?"
"Yeah -why?  Are you ok?"
"Yes, it's just that the funniest thing happened to me in a non-cardio body sculpting class...."
*Insert 30 minutes of ab-shaking laughter*

Two special big-bitty sports bra's are currently en route to my home.




Happy Tuesday!