Big Fat Fraidy Cat

Ok, people.  I have a terrible secret that I have to tell you.  It should be alright, though, since it's ABSOLUTELY the ONLY bad thing about me and my personality.  *cough*  *giggle*  But seriously -are you ready for this earth shattering secret?

I am afraid terrified PETRIFIED of the dark.

I'm 110% serious on this.  It's ok if you want to laugh.  I would understand, because it's completely unreasonable.  I realize this.  So, if you don't mind if I continue while you're laughing....

I'm writing this post out of shame, ultimately.  Since I am reaching my "late 20's" and haven't mastered my childhood fear (thank MOSES I stopped being afraid of the Big Bad Wolf at age nine or else I'd have to write about that too...) I feel that I might as well share it with the world in the hopes that someone other than me finds this funny instead of embarrassing.

I'm at my bonus sister's house, visiting, creating trouble, and spamming her facebook, when I realize it's 11pm and I should probably go home (side note: I've been crashing all my friend's houses because I'm in VA and my husband is in IN and have no one to give me the constant attention my high maintenance self requires.  This, however, is not something I would consider to be a personality flaw or anything, just in case you were wondering).  I'm not big on picking up on social cues from my besties and do better if they just tell me to do something.  So since it seemed late, I just decided that I should leave.  I abruptly gave them hugs and apologized for overstaying my welcome (to which they laughed  and told me I was silly).

I charge up the stairs to go to my car and literally almost fall off their front steps.  When I arrived, it DEFINITELY wasn't this dark outside, I hear myself thinking.  Was it?  Did I walk across that yard IN THE DARK and NOT notice?  Impossible.  I'm much too sensible and...sensible to walk across the yard in the dark.  Psh -only crazy people walk around outside in the dark.

So I stand for a few seconds *cough* with my back to the door *cough* and finally come to a reasonable conclusion.  I am not ashamed to ask for help...right?  Right!  So help I shall seek.  I mean, come ON people!  It's the mountains of Virginia where the stars are ALWAYS sparkling and we have all sorts of varieties of hunt-in-the-dark animals.  When I say it's dark, I mean it.

So I did what any reasonable fraidy cat would do!  Call for help -DUH!!!

*In loud whiney voice*  Uhmmm -can someone come up here and stand in the door so I can walk to my car?  Please?"

Maybe, just maybe I should have specified my helper.  Because instead of my BS's husband coming to help me, I made my bonus sister climb the stairs from the basement quickly (probably because I sounded so panicked...seriously IT IS DARK HERE!) with her due date TODAY to WATCH me hop and jump to the car.

I want you to close your eyes for a minute (after you finish reading the next paragraph, of course!  You can't read with your eyes closed!  Silly reader...), because I want you to have a mental picture of what a fool I am.  Are you ready?  Oh good.  Here we go.

Imagine walking on the sand as a kid.  Remember that funny walk-hop you would do because the sand was hot?  And then add the sound effect "hoo-hee-hee-hoo-hee-hoo-hoo...etc" because the sand is burning your feet (if you know my grandmother you know EXACTLY what this sound is like.  If not, just improvise, ok?)?  Are you with me?  Are you doing this out loud wherever you happen to be reading?  hahaha...busted!  :)

That was me....

The only sad part about this is (if you exclude the fact that I made my friend climb the stairs AND I'm a fraidy cat), is that it's NOT the beach, and it's not hot.

*sigh*

But before you completely pass judgement on me, I have to tell you that I would SWEAR on my favorite big-bitty sports bra that I heard someone say from the darkness, "fraidy cat" as I climbed into my car.

Now who's afraid of the dark?!? HUH?  HUH????


Maybe some day when I grow up I'll be able to be in the dark.  But for now, I am who I am!  :)


Happy Friday, all!

*hugs*