I've Got You, Babe

As we grow older we start to see things from a different perspective.  It AMAZES me.  We think, as children, that the BEST people in the world are our parents and grandparents.  Then, as we grow older, our focus changes from our family to our friends, and we then believe that they are the most important (trust me -this is part of development (don't take offense that your 13 yr. old would rather be at the movies with her friends than be seen in public with you.  They grow out of that eventually!).  We believe that St. Nicholas is the BIGGEST thing since sliced bread, and that that bubbles and sand boxes are the coolest "toys" to play with.  Once we've moved past our adolescence and are into adulthood (which for some could be ever-lasting) things get all mangled and jumbled up.  We still love our families, that's not an issue, but what happens when they become...less important?....you have a spouse that becomes your number one?  Where does the spouse play their role in your new family? 

As a teenager, it used to frighten me that my daddy wouldn't be my super hero anymore and that my mum wouldn't be there to help me solve my problems and make me feel better.  Now, though, they're just grown-ups like I am, making choices for themselves (which they deserve!!!).  And my new super hero -well, he's pretty super!  You don't have to believe me, but you should!  It's easier than I thought it would be to have my immediate support system minimized to one person.  Sometimes he has a hard time, and rightfully so!  I'm a handful and he's still a student.  I try to share all of my Joy with him, and spare him the ups and downs, and when I can't he rubs my back and talks to me down so that I can understand a perspective that I didn't before.  For just the two of us we do pretty well!  The biggest struggle is when we're faced with opinions.  You know, the kind where you want to know what they think, but you're going to make YOUR choice?  Those REALLY tough ones.  *chuckle*  Ohhh myyy!!!

I'm from the kind of family that gives their opinions VERY freely, and most of the time, they don't really care if it hurts your feelings.  Even more rare is the time they take to listen to what you're saying before they decide how they feel about it.  It isn't a passing of judgment, but it's not allowing for your "Just give me the benefit of the doubt!" either.  But -with DH, he REALLY thinks about what he offers up and how he offers it.  He doesn't let me get away with anything, but he doesn't hurt my feelings either.  I really, really have a lot of respect for that.  Because of my family, and the influence of my ever-patient husband, I am beginning to be a thinker.  To think of the consequences of my choices and statements, and to choose the best for the situation.  Statement Day 3:  It's ALL about choices.

*shrug*  We may be just two, but two is good enough for me.


PS -My perspective of the kitchen....  Well....  I still think the top shelf in the kitchen cabinets is WAY up there!  ;o)

Empowerment

Empowerment.  It's such a powerful word that means so much, and often times we are unaware of when we experience the negative and positive consequences in our lives.   I believe that there are two kinds of empowerment.  There is the kind that makes you a bigger and better version of you, and then there is the kind that works against you.  It pulls from your best qualities, drains you, and works towards making the other person (thing, concept, etc.) bigger and better, thus leaving you to sit quietly in the cornere, the shell of your previous self.  How do we battle these things?  How do we remain "me" when we are daily battered and beaten, and when we once or twice a week experience the healing, and bigger "me" empowerment? 

I'm not sure that I have the answers.  *shrug*  What do we do...avoid these situations?  Ask for support (even though you know that you'll receive very little from those you trust and love)?  Do what you feel you must to achieve the bigger "me" empowerment?  Hmm....  I'm not sure I like that answer either. 

I suppose the answer is similar to what I wrote about yesterday: the power of choice.  So -what do you choose? 

I'm hoping that by choosing the "bigger me" that something will fall into place very simply and similarly like the workings of a well created clock.  I can wish, right?

Welcome to Moodyday...I mean....

Today is Monday.  I dislike Monday's because they signify the end of a much treasured set of blissful days which are sometimes spent with my husband, or sometimes spent crafting, or sometimes spent doing nothing.  I mistrust this day of the week because Mondays have such a bad effect on people.  Sometimes they make us grumpy, or we're sleepy, and not yet ready for the week, and sometimes when we're least expecting it, they make us moody.  That terrible little cluster of negative emotions can only end in one way: bad mood. 

Sure -Monday's can be great!  There's Winter, Spring, and Summer breaks, then there's also the lucky day when you're ill and have to stay in bed.  Monday's don't become GM's (Green Monsters) until the next week because it's such a blissful occasion!  Drat it, though -because it always comes back. Anyway -this isn't my point.  Sure, we can check Monday's off as a , "yep -this day stinks and should be banned", kind of like how the Wizzards don't speak of Voldemordt....  Anyway.  Yeesh!  *sigh*

Despite all of the bad feelings we have for Monday, it's truly not the day of the week that makes our moods turn sour.  It is  our inability to control how we feel about it.  I know this sounds crazy, but think about it: we are in great moods when good things happen to us, and terrible moods when bad things happen.  We are happy when those around us are rejoicing, and are miserable when our companions are so.  Misery loves company, eh? 

It is most unfortunate when some of your companions are constantly miserable.  I have spent most of my life consciously keeping myself from unhealthy situations (I consider misery emotionally unhealthy) because they are...well, UNHEALTHY!  Duh.  But sometimes situations are unavoidable and you find yourself stuck smack dab in the middle of them.  Unlucky is the person who cannot seem to find any solace or escape.  Fortunately for us, there IS an option of resolution, should you choose to take the blue pill (sorry -I had to make a Matrix reference.  Please don't hate me!). 

We, as humans, were given the amazing power of choice!  Sometimes we feel like we have none, but we do.  Every single day we make choices -the conscious and the unconscious, that shape our lives.  So in said unfortunately moody situation, where you feel like your environment is driving you to the wrong polarity (again...sorry, bad psych. joke) and you have no choice, you must decide this.  Do you wish to be happy?  Or do you wish to be miserable (like your company, or your environment, or your situation, etc.)? 

If you choose to be happy, you have the power to control that and to enjoy the happy consequences of that choice.  If you choose, however, to take the road where the sun never shines you must life with the unhappy consequences of that choice as well.  The choices we make create the paths we take (wheeee...a rhyme!).  It's true.  Don't let your circumstances dictate how you feel, and most certainly who you become!

I'm choosing to be happy, are you?  I hope so because if you don't, I'd surely miss you!


Here's my happy thought for today.  Sure it may be a little silly, and slightly creepy, actually...but, enjoy it none the less!


Keep on keepin' on.