Self Care, take 1

Remember my last post?  About this self care project?  Well, if not -go read it!  It explains a lot!  :)  So since I have to turn this in for a grade (lucky me!), I decided that I should blog it, too!  Just because blogging makes me feel better.  So here is self care journal entry no. 1.

Self-care.  What a concept!  So easy....  Except -it’s not.  I created my menu of self-care things thinking, “I really like these things and they relax me.  They would be perfect for self reflection and introspection.”   No, actually.  I actually tried all of the things on my menu with little self-care success.  Taking a walk was too hot; baking something new (granola bars this week...) went excellently until I opened the oven and was greeted by a face full of black smoke (who knew oatmeal burned like that!)!  Playing my trumpet was the only successful activity in the whole lot until my face became tired from disuse.  

So I was stuck.  Here it was -Wednesday morning and I didn’t have my self-care project completed.  Needless to say I was feeling stressed out.  How is it that I am such a failure at self-care?  My husband would tell you that it’s the “southern woman” complex the women in my family seem to have.  It’s this: if you haven’t done everything you possibly can as perfectly as you possibly can, then you’ve failed.  I realize that this is unrealistic, but southerners are known for their hospitality so the logical conclusion to this would be that currently, I am not a southerner and this rule does not apply to me.  But -I’m also not necessarily a logical person.

As I was leaving to drive to school, I grabbed my camera.  It was on a whim, and my thought was, “I have free time today, maybe I’ll wander and take some fun pictures!”  I hadn’t been all the way around the SMWC campus, so I formulated a plan.  It was time to meet the Alpacas! 

We all hear rumors about spitting and of course biting, but they were actually very friendly and curious.  They thought I brought food, which for anyone, would be a little disappointing, but eventually they left in search of something more tasty.  

After meeting them I made my way over to the stables.  I was sweating and hot, and as I was walking I heard myself say, “this is such a beautiful day.  I’m so glad to be exploring.”  I actually stood still in the middle of the road (not that it was a busy road...but still).  I am not the type of person to be happy while sweating.  Or being hot...or tired, really.  But something about this situation was uplifting.  Perhaps it was the animals, or perhaps I managed to create a calm mental space for myself.  This mental calmness is exceptionally rare and is usually brought on by an eerily quiet environment and nothing to look at.  

The meditative “click” that my camera makes is calming.  It gives me the sense of capturing something living and having it in my memory forever.  My photos may not be perfect or professional and they certainly aren’t perfect (another thing that I seem to constantly strive for in every aspect of my life).  But there is something in them that allows me to remember that quite moment where I am still and uplifted.

************************************

I just finished the shoot for my second self care journal entry that I'll be sharing with you later this week! It's of things in my kitchen!  :)  Hopefully you'll like them as much as I do!



I hope you all are doing wonderfully!

Glass Half Full: 10 January, 2011

Happy Monday, everyone!


It's time again for Glass Half Full!!!  I'm hoping that I can stay on the ball this semester.  Don't get your hopes up too high, but I'm going to do my best for you!  :)  You know the drill (and if not, you can hop over here to read all about it!

Here's my story for the week:

After Christmas, I posted this.  Do you remember (if not, I still love you -promise!)?  I said goodbye to my "year of judgment."  I really did.  This is how I know.

I started back to school today, and I had all of those "first day of school" excited feelings without all of those "first day of school" expectations.  I'm not sure I understand exactly why this is, but it is, and I'm happy about it.  I also had no desire to do my normal nervous eating, like I usually do on the first day of school.

Along a completely different, but relevant line (I promise...), a long Christmas break is hard because we get off schedule, but this break has been good for me.  It's allowed me to determine what's truly important to me and what's not.  What type of relationships I want to have with everyone/thing in my life, and the types I want to avoid.  I truly came back from break renewed, which isn't something I can say about ANY of the other breaks so far in my life. 

So by now you're probably asking yourself why this matters -what makes this story a "glass half full Monday" post, right?  I don't blame you.

Here's the point:  Mind over matter.  I've started playing this positive -"live life, no expectations" tape in my head, and it's working.  Working REALLY well.

I hope you all have had a great Monday!  :)  If you did, share it with me, and then hop over to My Thoughts and Treasures for
and share your story with my friend Chantel!

Keep on keepin' on!

Briana is.....

Posting her very first post from her very first MacBook Pro.  Be excited, y'all.  Be REALLY excited.

Actually -I'm not sure how excited YOU should be...but I'm so far beyond excited, it's really quite....well...exciting.

Happy Sunday, y'all!

Under Warranty

I love that life is so unpredictable.  Just like you can sit down to have a cup of coffee with a friend and see another old friend, or in this very specific case, you can be driving your car, just like normal, and hear a sound similar to that of a landing airplane.  Even more specifically, like the plan is landing on the roof of your car. 

This happened while we were in Pittsburgh.  Today, I took the car in to find out that it needed a new wheel bearing.  Michael and I were sweating it -that's a major expense for us...$1000.  *cold sweat*  Just a bit ago, I called to check in (read: "Am I REALLY going to have to pay $1000?!?!).  The very nice man told me that it was under warranty and that we owed NO money.  *swoon*

Just when you're not looking for those sweet moments in life, she surprises you and blesses you with what you truly need.

Cheers to your small (and big!) blessings! 

Glass Half Full, 2011

 I realize that I haven't posted this linky party in AGES, so I'm just going to tell you a story with no expectations!  My hopes are to start this up again for uplifting tales for me AND for you, but for today, just enjoy my story, okay?  ;)

My husband and I are living the college life.  *cough cough*  The MARRIED...broke...college student life.  He's been having every sort of imaginable trouble with his program, and is handling it with such amazing Grace and Faith.  I however...have not.  I've been angry, justifiably so, and have been telling him how I feel about the whole thing.  "SOMEONE needs to cut you a break!"  "They OWE you a meeting...you're PAYING them to HELP you...."  Etc.  Get the picture?  There's SO much more to this story, but it's rubbish, and there's no point in flaying that fish right now.  The point is, I've been adamant about SOMEONE giving my husband some bloody help!

All this time, he's been working for every orchestra in the state of Indiana trying to make money for us to pay bills, while also traveling three months out of the year to Pittsburgh to play in the pit for their opera orchestra.  He's been a long term sub there, and very recently someone raised a fuss about him not being on contract.  Our immediate fear was that he was going to lose the job and what those ramifications would be for the rest of his career -teaching AND playing.  A true nail-biter, let me tell ya'.

We were there for New Years Eve.  The Opera has a gala, and so they hired him to play for it.  It was wonderful -singing, dancing, and desserts!  We even got to witness a marriage proposal!!!  So romantic.  This whole time, I'm worrying about his contract and job.  At the end of the gala he tells us (we're with some new friends!!!) that they've offered him a contract, and he'll become a full section player!!!!!!  YAYYYYY!!!  *insert all sorts of happy dances*

It was in this moment that I realized my dear, patient, respectful husband had received his break; and from the least likely place.  His unyielding faith and personal responsibility allowed him to persevere and win himself a job.  A REAL job.  I also realized that I wanted him to have some sort of forward progression so that I could move forward too.  That his door could open my door so we could move forward together.  The good news is that this is now possible.  The bad news is that I need to make peace with all of the bad things that have happened to him on his journey.  The second peace of good news is that this happened to HIM instead of me for a reason.  I'm not sure what that is yet, but I have faith that I'll figure it out.  That's the good thing about believing -you know you don't have the answer...YET.

 Happy Glass Half Full, friends!  I hope you have a Monday full of wonderful things!

Keep on Keepin' on~

2000-What?

 Dear Bloggers,

I write this post with a joyful heart, and with a little guilt too!  It's been since OCTOBER since I last posted, and honestly...I miss you!  I must admit, though, that this post is mostly selfish, so I'll get right to the point.

I titled this post 2000-what?  because 2010 is a year I am not proud of (mostly...).  I started this blog so that I could vent.  I'd lost my whole support system and was (and still am) living in a place I don't consider home.  Well, even though I haven't posted in months, I still consider my blog to be vital to my life, and in many ways, a "home."  I realize that my blog isn't important to you in the same ways it's important to me, BUT, as a fellow blogger and woman (I know there are men in blogland...just most of you are of the female nature...), I know you understand WHY I need this "home."  So....  I was inspired to write this post after meeting new friends for New Years and old friends for a nice long chat.  I am reminded of what my life is to become and what it has been, and I refuse to remind myself of the things I'm leaving behind by choice, or residual icky 2010 baggage.  I'm saying goodbye to 2010, and am thanking it for it's opinion, but...no thanks.

I said goodbye to a bad job.  I said goodbye to friends (some by choice, some not so much...).  I said goodbye to some bad familial relationships.  I said goodbye to the me that let people make me feel bad.  I said goodbye to lots of pride.  I said goodbye to cable tv (BEST choice ever...just sayin').  I also said goodbye to some of my faith (not necessarily by choice...).

PEACE OUT 2010.

This year, I am resolving not to resolve.  I am being honest with myself.  Why make promises to myself that I'm honestly not going to keep?  I am living my life with high goals and NO expectations.  I am loving my family, even if they can't love me back.  I am being a true spouse to my husband (because we all know he WAY deserves it).  And I am not going to be afraid of what I don't know.  God hasn't left me -I just need to remember keep my eyes open for him.


My friends and family lovingly reminded me that it's alright to not know; that it's alright for there to be a question mark in my life.  They reminded me that a past is the past and that a journey requires one step at a time (take a small bite of the elephant; it's not much, but you're still a bite closer...).  My family reminded me of unconditional love and compassion.  My husband shows me what I cannot show myself, and allows me to be what I am -good, the bad, and the ugly (although, according to him...there is no ugly!  HA!!  We'll see how he feels in 20 years....).  The family I work for shows me that life comes in all forms and it doesn't matter if you're not perfect.

Welcome, 2011.  I am embracing you with open arms and a free mind.  Give me your best shot, I dare you.



 Keep on keepin' on~

{Bad day blues}

Do ya' ever have days where you're just NOT in a good mood?  Where you wake up and you're feeling snarky?  Well that was me today AND THEN I had to weigh myself for my last Win, Lose, or Blog weigh in.  You can read about THAT disaster here. 

Well instead of snarking you all, I'll leave you with something funny to laugh at. 

We have this dog.  Her name is Saphira {but you already know this...}.  Saphira is really sweet and cute, but she gets REALLY excited about going o.u.t.s.i.d.e.  Get my drift?

{Don't you just want to cuddle-rub her??  *sigh*}

Anyway.  We'll take her outside and let her run around -the normal doggie stuff, and when it's time to go back inside, she runs up to the porch -still in a very excited way.  She's usually much faster than we are and we'll be coming around the side of the house just IN TIME to see her run full speed into the door.  I am COMPLETELY serious!  She does.  She thinks that it will open for her or something and runs smack into it every time.  We seriously cry with laughing so hard because then she turns around and looks at us like it's OUR fault she ran full speed into the door.  Ahhh *chuckles*  I LUB my Saphira-snausage!  :)

Wanna hear another?  Oh goodie!

Okay -so do y'all watch SYTYCD?   Well last night there was that weird bed-time pillow dance?  Didja see it, huh huh huh??  Hubs and I were watching it with a group of friends and one of the couples said, "hey!  We TOTALLY do that every night before bed.  We put on our jammies and totally dance with a pillow."

I could NOT stop giggling.  It was so SILLY.  So we got home last night and I asked the hubs if he wanted to do the pillow dance.  Totally a G rated question, right? haha.  He gave me this look.

{*giggle*  It's so funny!  He's so silly!}

I get this a lot from him.  It's his, "Briana is ridiculous but I love her anyway" face.  Seriously -like once or twice a day I get it.  But he's just so DARN handsome that maybe, just maybe I do ridiculous things on purpose.  :)


Okay -good.  I feel better and y'all have had a couple of laughs.  Good.

I hope everyone has a great day!!

xo~

Glass Half Full Monday {3}

 Hi Everyone!  :)  I hope that your weekends were restful and that your morning has been great so far.  We're back to Monday {again...darn you Monday!} and back to the Glass Half Full linky party! 

Want to participate?  Here are the rules (drum roll puh-lease!!!):
-Write a post in YOUR blog about a time when you realized that your glass was half full (read: your happy/funny/inspirational/mushy stories).  This can be past or present, please -no posts pertaining to the future.  :}
-Link your post to the Mr. Linky
-Put your name and the title of your post.  {ex: Briana ~ Always the Bridesmaid...}
-Visit anothers story, and just tell them, "Hey, read your story and am visiting or following...laughing or crying, etc."
-Feel free to take the "Glass Half Full" image.
*I'll make sure to visit everyone's post!!!*





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This week's story is brought to you by: Hope {the faithful feeling, not a lady...just sayin'}

It's also going to be short and sweet, seeing as I can't give you a lot of details.  Lets just say that I'm making a HUGE change that greatly effects our lives {I mean -HUGE- and no, I'm not having a baby...}.  Instead of telling me how much stress this choice will put on our lives {read: marriage, finances, free time, schedules, and anything else you can think of...} he tells me to stop trying to talk myself out of this choice and to just go with the flow.  {Insert a gaping Briana-face here.....}

 

{this is an actual photo of me at breakfast yesterday morning}

 He keeps telling me, "What's the worst that can happen?  We'll not be any worse off than we are right now." And, "Why worry about it -there is nothing you can do.  You can't control this situation, so you might as well just enjoy this exciting time."  So in the spirit of my greatest supporter, I'm going to just enjoy the ride.  Maybe the feeling will last for a day, an hour, a couple of minutes, or forever, but for now I'm just -"going with the flow."

I hope everyone has an awesome Monday!

xx

 
 

I'm linking this to a new party over at My Thoughts and Treasures that happens every Tuesday!  Chantel is a great lady, so hop on over! 

 

Creative Therapy -easy glass luminaries

I ALWAYS drool over Life in the Pitts' Creative Therapy session, but never make enough time in my week to actually sit down and make something.  When I do make something it's always last minute, you know?  Some company's coming or I have something I HAVE TO DO RIGHT THIS MINUTE, which usually entails BEGGING my husband to help me.  Well...this craft is no different, and you'll think it's simple and silly {maybe}, but it's one of my FAVORITES so far and the cheapest!

I'm not so great at tutorials, so I'll give you the end results and let you know what materials I used.  That way, you can steal my idea and make it your own.  I don't mind sharing {as long as it's not food...} and I hope you enjoy them!




As you can see, you need some glass....jars?  I think that's the right word.  These are left-over jars from peppers, pickles, baby food {I don't have kids.  I shamefully bought four jars of baby food for the smaller ones...sorry!}  As you can also see, you'll need some Jute.  I had this left over from my jewelry making adolescence, however you can get it from the craft store easy-peasy.  Third, you'll need something from which to create a secure handle/hanger and with which to hang your luminaries.  I hung mine with 12 gauge metal wire from Target.  Third, you'll need your husband's Letherman.  I have my own...it just has glue on it....  So use your own if it's not been too mistreated.  All of that put together, and mine looked like this:

 COOL HUH???  I'm proud of it.  It just looks pretty!  :)  Your last ingredient to a luminary, however, is the light!  {DUH...! hehe}  Because I'm afraid of blowing my house up {because yes -that is something that I would do....ON ACCIDENT}, and our deck and it's furniture are just over a year old, I decided to use.....{drum roll please....}

 FLAMELESS CANDLES {that you can't see because I waited until it was Creative Therapy day to get my act together, but I SWEAR...they're in there!}!  I got them at Target {said, of course, Tarjayyyy}! 

Hurrah!!

Happy Creative Therapy, everyone!!!

xo.






I'm linking to: 

GHF Wrap Up

Today is a new day, and with new days come new explorations, right?  Today I've explored how to make myself blog button-bars and am hoping to teach myself how to do other cool things.  If you know how to do cool things, you can e-mail me!

I'd like to wrap up yesterday's linky party by thanking Jenny from Seedlings and Helena from Life in the Pitts.  Jenny's a literary blogger (she's the one responsible for getting me into reading) and Helena is a crafty/funny/life blogger (the one responsible for the really cool GHF button!).  Now that I've had some posts, you're not the first so make sure to write a quick little uplifting ditty and give it a link-up!  I'm here every (day...) Monday, and would LOVE to read something funny/heartfelt/inspirational/exciting!

This is how happy I get when people visit, leave a comment, and link up! {This is NOT me...this person is WAY too thin and dressed up to be me...just sayin'.}

{from}

I hope everyone has an awesome day!!!  Tomorrow's Wednesday and that means we're half way through the week!  Happy Blogging, everyone!

xo.

Glass Half Full 2 -Takin' Care of Business

Welcome back to the second Glass Half Full!  I'm excited to be hosting this, even if it's just me that posts a story.  It helps keep everything in perspective, right?  ;}  So -before I tell you my weekly tale, here's the deal!

Here are the rules (drum roll puh-lease!!!):
-Write a post in YOUR blog about a time when you realized that your glass was half full (read: your happy/funny/inspirational/mushy stories).  This can be past or present, please -no posts pertaining to the future.  :}
-Link your post to the Mr. Linky
-Put your name and the title of your post.  {ex: Briana ~ Always the Bridesmaid...}
-Visit anothers story, and just tell them, "Hey, read your story and am visiting or following...laughing or crying, etc."
-Feel free to take the "Glass Half Full" image.
*I'll make sure to visit everyone's post!!!*

Thanks for linking up!!!


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Now, on to my story!  :}

Once upon a time, there was this girl {lets just say her name was Briana *gasp!*  That's your name! -Why yes, yes it is!}.  She was a pain -always wanting to have everything done in a very specific way, within a certain time frame.  Usually, this worked out and she was satisfied with the results.  Until the day she met this boy {lets just say his name was Michael. *gasp!*  That's your husband's name -why yes, yes it is!}.  This boy is a thinker.  He likes to think about his options, deliberate with himself, and once he's decided, he likes to re-think everything to ensure his choice is truly the one he wants.

Lets just say that girl considers boy to sometimes be impossible.  Things need to get done here, people!  Let's shake a leg, get a move on, hop to it!  But no matter what she says, everything boy does takes time.  Not surprisingly, everything he does turns out wonderfully and seems to work out.  Girl, however, likes to do things -get them done, and often this results in her needing to redo, reassess, and reframe.  Not that this is wrong, it's just different.

In all of girl's ramblings, whinings, and complaints, she knows that no matter how tough things get, this boy -this thinker, will take care of it.  He will get it done, and get it done right.  Maybe things are slow and hectic, stressful and well....REALLY stressful, but that's not importnat.  The important thing is that boy does it, does it for girl with a smile on his face and the right decision on his mind.

Happy Glass Half Full Monday!

xoxo.

~True Life House Wife!~

I really wanted to continue my list from yesterday, but am out of steam.  Not on the baby topic {not in the least bit!}, but just in general.  I haven't been sleeping well.  Between the heat {our AC is even on and it's HOT at night!}, my back, and a very odd series of dreams, sleep has been more of a question mark than anything else.  We're having company this weekend and I can already feel my adrenaline pumping in preparation.  I think it'll keep me up WAY past my bed time tonight, and up early tomorrow in anticipation!  I LOVE playing hostess -it's honestly my favorite thing to do {one of my favorite things along with crafting and baking and scrubbing the floor boards -truth- and..you get the picture}.  On that note, I'd like to focus my post.

A friend and I get together once a week {or so} and one of the topics we've been discussing what being a good spouse/life partner means for me/us.  Now, before I tell you what I've decided, I must tell you that I'm somewhat of an overachiever.  Not that my blog portrays that, but I am.  I like to be the best at the things I do and am often frustrated when it doesn't turn out that way {probably one of my great lessons to learn in life...}.  With that being said, I felt that I had to be this laundry list of things with a laundry list of accomplishments while in college, get a job before I graduated {it was actually my dream job...lot of good that did me...haha}, have a "perfect home", and make things just the way I want them.  Now that I've been through a year of the wringer, I feel that there are a lot of unexpected feelings.

{This is my good example}

So in these discussions with my friend, I have come to realize a few things.  First is that I WANT to be a home-maker.  I want to have dinner on the table when hubs gets home, all the laundry folded, the home clean, and a healthy crafting schedule.  I want to make us a loving, stress-less home.  Right now, I can't do that.  Second, in contrast to my extreme desire to be the best of _________, I don't have to be anything that makes me unhappy!  {I was very confused for a while over this one...}.  Being a SAHM/House wife is exciting and fulfilling, and obviously teaching music isn't something that's in God's plan for me right now {otherwise I'd still have that dream job I mentioned}.  Third, I realized that being a Mom is, what I believe, the most important job I can have.  I want to have good, healthy, well behaved, well rounded and educated, smart and friendly, and ...*cough*pefrect*cough*  children.  The best way I can prepare them for life is to teach them to how to be independent, prayerful, and lots of other things my Mum would be really good at explaining.  My seeester and I are quite lucky to have been blessed with a SAHM.  Remember -being a "mom" is just coming back into fashion.  I grew up with a SAHM when it was OUT of fashion.  I had an excellent example.  Fourth, I realized that I felt happier when I could "provide" for my husband.  What does this mean, you ask?  This means that by my working on our home and creating a relaxed and healthy environment is is, in turn, healthier and more Peaceful.  I am protective of the hubs -and when he's struggling I want to make it better, that's what I'm good at.

{from}

These are the things that I love and enjoy.  Yes -I am a real life musician.  Music is my art, my inspiration, and my medium for most expression {save for the blog here!}, but it's also never going away.  I am successful at being a partner and a wife and I am proud of who and how I am.

This is my confession -the confession of the wanna-be true life house wife!  haha  :)

Have a great day, everyone!

Budgetting for the Future...

{from}

Warning: This is an extensive post.  Just wanted you to know!  :}


 
We all know that money doesn't grow on trees, right?  So how do you handle it?  Do you budget?  Do you sit down every month and discuss what everything is going to cost?  Do you?  If you do, you'll know how absolutely depressing it is.  We do and it's honestly my LEAST favorite day of the month {and I'm allowed to have a whole week of those, and I'm choosing the budget day over those days}.  The budget is big in our household, even though the hubs is a big softie and often caves {I really try NOT to take advantage of this but...we did just buy a Wii and I have to admit that it was my idea but I didn't have to work too hard to convince him...just sayin'}, we do make a budget, and it does cause stress.  I'd like to think I'm a long term planner, but I don't think that's true so as I'm sitting here, thinking {yet again or rather -still thinking} about my baby-to-be-savings account, I'm trying to get a handle on how much things will cost and how much I'll need to save {as in -do I ask for the cashola for this savings account for my birthday or Christmas, or do I just do what we can do and get on with my life}.

{from}

To help me get a grip on this, I'm scoping the internet and picking the things I want then adding $50 extra bucks as a buffer.  Lucky you guys, you get to see what I'm choosing {if you want to stop here, I won't be offended! :)}
*Disclaimer: I have done VERY little research on which is the best for this and or that, so I may very well be changing my mind completely.  This list, however, gives me somewhere to start!*

Okay -here we go!

Furniture:  I'd prefer solid wood, and to thrift it, but just in case....
Crib: $650.00 from in white
   ~OR~  $450.00 from in white (this one's a set)
Dresser: $350.00 from
Changing table (may not be necessary): $2r0.00 from
Bassinet: $150 from
Nursery Chair: $400.00 from
Chair Ottoman: $200.00 from
Pac-n'-play: $200 from or from (but it's more expensive from here!)

Furniture total: $2,500.00 (remember -that's with the upped prices, but probably not too far off!}  Eeps!

Gear:
Stroller: $250.00 from (biggest cost shocker yet!  I wasn't expecting some of them to be like...$500!!!)  My sister has informed me that this is absolutely ugly, no matter what color it comes in, but so maybe we'll try this one.
Carseat: Included in above, but I'll allot $100 just in case.
High Chair:  $200.00 because I said so.  I didn't find any wooden ones that I like. 
Baby carrier: (there are 2...) $50.00 for the body wrap, and $80.00 for one like this.

*Gear Total: rounding up to $650.  EEPS!

Nursery Decor:
Bedding (which I want to make myself, and for $700 I totally could!): Love this one, however, this one @ $200 is MUCH more reasonable and the colors I wanted!  Straight up black and white!  So $200 is allotted for bedding.  I could make something like this for less, but just in case....


Okay -TBContinued... This takes FOREVER! 

Have a great Wednesday!

{THE Account}

I know that my last post just ragged on my dear hubby {who is REALLY working hard for us}, but I have to share another heartwarming story!  I'm sure I've told you these two things, but just in case, here they are.  First, I LOVE BABIES.  I want to be a mommy more than anything!  Secondly, I'm married to a {wonderfully fabulous and loving}student.  Read: We're too broke to have a baby and don't want to add that stress to our marriage.  So I've been chewing and gnawing on what to do.  Can't have a baby right now so do I just gaze lustily at those cute little booties and convertible cribs?  Sure, I could do that but it's not very proactive.  I need to be proactive in order to feel satisfied, sorry -that's just the way it goes for me!

So what to do...what to do....  Ah-ha!  Eurika!  I'll open "THE Account"  THE account where I'll be putting $10 a month (out of my crafting budget -see these sacrifices! hehe) at the minimum into this account.  That way in a year...two years...NO LONGER than that!  haha -I'll have enough money saved up to buy exactly what I want.  The frilly solid wood convertible crib, the material I want to make the bedding and curtains, and the accessories I want.  I don't want to have to ask my family {who I'm sure would happily purchase it for us} for everything we'd like, so!

This is me.  This is me being proactive.  This is me being a good mommy.

*EDIT* - So I forgot to tell you why my hubs was being sweet, right?  Did anyone catch that??

Michael realizes how much I loooouuuvre babies.  Poor M is SO sick of hearing about them, I'm sure.  So when I brought up the topic for discussion {of course I had my side of the discussion prepared and my appeals figured out in case he disagreed...} he simply smiled and said, "that sounds like a really good idea, Babe."  Squee!!!!  You should have seen my face!  hehehe.

That's why M's the best!

Happy day dreams, friends!

Drama...Drama...Baby Mama!

HAPPY FRIDAY!  You have no idea how excited I am that this day has come once again!  Well -you all probably do, but my denying that you understand should prove to you how EXCITED I am that Friday has arrived.  Does the title of my post frighten or excite you?  Well -before you get tooooo wrapped up I want you to know that I picked it because it rhymed (and the fact that I'm obsessed with babies and how cool they are)!  hehe  Fooooled you!  Too bad it's too late for April Fool's Day!  Drats....

I should get to the point of this post.  It is: Drama (I was going to insert a really cool picture of the ancient Greek comedy masks, but they were all creepy.  Sad...).  My whole life I've heard people say that I'm dramatic and honestly...I'm not going to lie...I am.  I'm dramatic.  To the point where people should probably pay me for how exciting and entertaining my dramatics are.  Not that I'd like to be an actor...being a musician is hard enough.  So...big deal, right?  I'm a walking, natural ball of jiggly drama.  Joy! 

Well, not too long ago I posted on how while growing up there was so much pressure to be X, Y, or Z.  Remember that?  Well if you don't, you can find it HERE!  :o)  Anyway, in stead of trying to NOT be something, I've been trying to be me!  I've decided (and I'm sure that you'll agree) that one of my best attributes is drama.  I know -you're thinking, "WHY would anyone want drama in their lives?"  To answer that question, I don't do other people's drama.  I just don't.  I refuse bottom line.  If you come into my life and you stir the pot and things start brewing, that's it.  No second chances on things like drama.  Instead, I like the drama of a good book, the kind where my imagination can explore and absorb the story.  I like the drama of a funny, uplifting, and enthralling story to a fault.  Also, I inherited the trait where I will go to the outer reaches of extravagance (champagne taste on a beer budget...) to throw a party that will make everyone's eyes pop and mouths dangle with excitement and anticipation (thanks, Mum!!)!  So YES! -I love drama.  It gives me character (I can hear my husband's response to this.  It goes something like this: Yeah -You ARE a character.  Hah hah hahhhh. Ooof! *as I punch him...*).

I had a really neat conversation with my mother, and now that I'm older I'm really starting to appreciate her as my friend, and not just my mum.  She gives me advice, she helps me work through ups and down, how to fix this household thing, or create that new idea.  I told her that I had had a great sense of Peace since I just decided that I am who I am, dramatic or not -happy or not -fat or not (shh husband, I'm making a point here!), etc. and that the more I enjoy it, the more fearful I become that I'll lose it.  In the brief time between sun down and sunrise today, I've realized that I AM the only person who can take that Peace away.

Lets just say that I'm enjoying having it around almost as much as I'm enjoying having my husband home from Pittsburgh Opera!  I'll have my Peace and enjoy it too!  I hope you do as well!

The Consolation Prize

I have been thinking for a couple of weeks (on a very regular basis) how awesome my dear husband is.  Now -before you roll your eyes and claim that I'm going mushy on you again, just hear me out!

Michael left this week for Pittsburgh.  This is the last session until Fall.  I'm really excited about him not leaving again until September.  Really, really happy!  But it's the same storyline every time he leaves to go.  I get sad, he gets excited, and we have our "last date" before his trip.  Usually this is us on the sofa watching Fox News (Don't hate!) and eating pizza.  Actually -he's watching, I'm reading, etc.  I'm sure you get the picture?  Yeah.  This time was a little different in that I had choir rehearsal until 9:30.  I was bummed about not having a real date, but he did take me to Subway (I'm really not that hard to please where food is concerned...) and we had a nice discussion on risk vs. debt.  Yep -that's my man.  A nice romantic dinner at Subway and a thrilling discussion about mortgages and debit.  You can tell that I'm just so pleased!  :)

I came dragging my feet home after choir.  It's exhausting to sing Bach AND Mozart in two types of Latin, and in German!  I had had my language fill for the day.  Michael, of course, was waiting at home, and had saved his packing so that I could visit with him and fall asleep while he packed.  You know -so that we'd be in the same general vicinity.  Again, I hate this time of small transitions.  I lose my husband for 3 weeks, and become an independent woman who enjoys sitting on the sofa, reading until her eyes cross, and tearing things apart and making them pretty.  I was sad he was leaving and he was eager to get to Pittsburgh.  I could tell he felt bad (he always does), leaving me behind to have his adventure, but I smiled and told him I was going to have fun with Saphira (har!  She likes to eat my shoes, and I like to yell at her.  FUN!!!), and that I had tons of stuff planed (this part is true!).

I was about to drift off to my happy place when he disappeared downstairs.  Thinking that was odd, I followed him.  I'm nosey, so even though I was almost asleep, I got out of bed to see what he was doing (again, don't judge!! hehe).  He was getting some water -bummer.  But as I was leaving to go back to my nice electrically heated bed he surprised me!  I was receiving a consolation prize of flowers!! 

This is very exciting because flowers are only for the MOST special of occasions (anniversaries, birthdays, and other important holidays).  Of course, I thought that I had forgotten something, but my sweet husband just shrugged and said, "nothing special, I just love you and wanted you to have something pretty because I love you."  *whistful sigh*

So sure *shrug* -my husband is gone for about 3 weeks, but hey! -I've got a consolation prize that makes our home smell like summer, and reminds me that how wonderful my spouse is.  Who can argue with that?

Welcome to Moodyday...I mean....

Today is Monday.  I dislike Monday's because they signify the end of a much treasured set of blissful days which are sometimes spent with my husband, or sometimes spent crafting, or sometimes spent doing nothing.  I mistrust this day of the week because Mondays have such a bad effect on people.  Sometimes they make us grumpy, or we're sleepy, and not yet ready for the week, and sometimes when we're least expecting it, they make us moody.  That terrible little cluster of negative emotions can only end in one way: bad mood. 

Sure -Monday's can be great!  There's Winter, Spring, and Summer breaks, then there's also the lucky day when you're ill and have to stay in bed.  Monday's don't become GM's (Green Monsters) until the next week because it's such a blissful occasion!  Drat it, though -because it always comes back. Anyway -this isn't my point.  Sure, we can check Monday's off as a , "yep -this day stinks and should be banned", kind of like how the Wizzards don't speak of Voldemordt....  Anyway.  Yeesh!  *sigh*

Despite all of the bad feelings we have for Monday, it's truly not the day of the week that makes our moods turn sour.  It is  our inability to control how we feel about it.  I know this sounds crazy, but think about it: we are in great moods when good things happen to us, and terrible moods when bad things happen.  We are happy when those around us are rejoicing, and are miserable when our companions are so.  Misery loves company, eh? 

It is most unfortunate when some of your companions are constantly miserable.  I have spent most of my life consciously keeping myself from unhealthy situations (I consider misery emotionally unhealthy) because they are...well, UNHEALTHY!  Duh.  But sometimes situations are unavoidable and you find yourself stuck smack dab in the middle of them.  Unlucky is the person who cannot seem to find any solace or escape.  Fortunately for us, there IS an option of resolution, should you choose to take the blue pill (sorry -I had to make a Matrix reference.  Please don't hate me!). 

We, as humans, were given the amazing power of choice!  Sometimes we feel like we have none, but we do.  Every single day we make choices -the conscious and the unconscious, that shape our lives.  So in said unfortunately moody situation, where you feel like your environment is driving you to the wrong polarity (again...sorry, bad psych. joke) and you have no choice, you must decide this.  Do you wish to be happy?  Or do you wish to be miserable (like your company, or your environment, or your situation, etc.)? 

If you choose to be happy, you have the power to control that and to enjoy the happy consequences of that choice.  If you choose, however, to take the road where the sun never shines you must life with the unhappy consequences of that choice as well.  The choices we make create the paths we take (wheeee...a rhyme!).  It's true.  Don't let your circumstances dictate how you feel, and most certainly who you become!

I'm choosing to be happy, are you?  I hope so because if you don't, I'd surely miss you!


Here's my happy thought for today.  Sure it may be a little silly, and slightly creepy, actually...but, enjoy it none the less!


Keep on keepin' on.