Remember my
last post? About this self care project? Well, if not -go read it! It explains a lot! :) So since I have to turn this in for a grade (lucky me!), I decided that I should blog it, too! Just because blogging makes me feel better. So here is self care journal entry no. 1.
Self-care. What a concept! So easy.... Except -it’s not. I created my menu of self-care things thinking, “I really like these things and they relax me. They would be perfect for self reflection and introspection.” No, actually. I actually tried all of the things on my menu with little self-care success. Taking a walk was too hot; baking something new (granola bars this week...) went excellently until I opened the oven and was greeted by a face full of black smoke (who knew oatmeal burned like that!)! Playing my trumpet was the only successful activity in the whole lot until my face became tired from disuse.
So I was stuck. Here it was -Wednesday morning and I didn’t have my self-care project completed. Needless to say I was feeling stressed out. How is it that I am such a failure at self-care? My husband would tell you that it’s the “southern woman” complex the women in my family seem to have. It’s this: if you haven’t done everything you possibly can as perfectly as you possibly can, then you’ve failed. I realize that this is unrealistic, but southerners are known for their hospitality so the logical conclusion to this would be that currently, I am not a southerner and this rule does not apply to me. But -I’m also not necessarily a logical person. As I was leaving to drive to school, I grabbed my camera. It was on a whim, and my thought was, “I have free time today, maybe I’ll wander and take some fun pictures!” I hadn’t been all the way around the SMWC campus, so I formulated a plan. It was time to meet the Alpacas!
We all hear rumors about spitting and of course biting, but they were actually very friendly and curious. They thought I brought food, which for anyone, would be a little disappointing, but eventually they left in search of something more tasty.
After meeting them I made my way over to the stables. I was sweating and hot, and as I was walking I heard myself say, “this is such a beautiful day. I’m so glad to be exploring.” I actually stood still in the middle of the road (not that it was a busy road...but still). I am not the type of person to be happy while sweating. Or being hot...or tired, really. But something about this situation was uplifting. Perhaps it was the animals, or perhaps I managed to create a calm mental space for myself. This mental calmness is exceptionally rare and is usually brought on by an eerily quiet environment and nothing to look at.
The meditative “click” that my camera makes is calming. It gives me the sense of capturing something living and having it in my memory forever. My photos may not be perfect or professional and they certainly aren’t perfect (another thing that I seem to constantly strive for in every aspect of my life). But there is something in them that allows me to remember that quite moment where I am still and uplifted.
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I just finished the shoot for my second self care journal entry that I'll be sharing with you later this week! It's of things in my kitchen! :) Hopefully you'll like them as much as I do!
I hope you all are doing wonderfully!
