xo-
January 3, 2011
Under Construction!!
Just like my life, my blog is getting a make-over that I hope to have completed this week...sometime. Please be patient with me! Hopefully it's transformation won't give you the same headache it's giving me! :D
xo-
xo-
January 2, 2011
Glass Half Full, 2011
I realize that I haven't posted this linky party in AGES, so I'm just going to tell you a story with no expectations! My hopes are to start this up again for uplifting tales for me AND for you, but for today, just enjoy my story, okay? ;)
My husband and I are living the college life. *cough cough* The MARRIED...broke...college student life. He's been having every sort of imaginable trouble with his program, and is handling it with such amazing Grace and Faith. I however...have not. I've been angry, justifiably so, and have been telling him how I feel about the whole thing. "SOMEONE needs to cut you a break!" "They OWE you a meeting...you're PAYING them to HELP you...." Etc. Get the picture? There's SO much more to this story, but it's rubbish, and there's no point in flaying that fish right now. The point is, I've been adamant about SOMEONE giving my husband some bloody help!
All this time, he's been working for every orchestra in the state of Indiana trying to make money for us to pay bills, while also traveling three months out of the year to Pittsburgh to play in the pit for their opera orchestra. He's been a long term sub there, and very recently someone raised a fuss about him not being on contract. Our immediate fear was that he was going to lose the job and what those ramifications would be for the rest of his career -teaching AND playing. A true nail-biter, let me tell ya'.
We were there for New Years Eve. The Opera has a gala, and so they hired him to play for it. It was wonderful -singing, dancing, and desserts! We even got to witness a marriage proposal!!! So romantic. This whole time, I'm worrying about his contract and job. At the end of the gala he tells us (we're with some new friends!!!) that they've offered him a contract, and he'll become a full section player!!!!!! YAYYYYY!!! *insert all sorts of happy dances*
It was in this moment that I realized my dear, patient, respectful husband had received his break; and from the least likely place. His unyielding faith and personal responsibility allowed him to persevere and win himself a job. A REAL job. I also realized that I wanted him to have some sort of forward progression so that I could move forward too. That his door could open my door so we could move forward together. The good news is that this is now possible. The bad news is that I need to make peace with all of the bad things that have happened to him on his journey. The second peace of good news is that this happened to HIM instead of me for a reason. I'm not sure what that is yet, but I have faith that I'll figure it out. That's the good thing about believing -you know you don't have the answer...YET.
Happy Glass Half Full, friends! I hope you have a Monday full of wonderful things!
Keep on Keepin' on~
My husband and I are living the college life. *cough cough* The MARRIED...broke...college student life. He's been having every sort of imaginable trouble with his program, and is handling it with such amazing Grace and Faith. I however...have not. I've been angry, justifiably so, and have been telling him how I feel about the whole thing. "SOMEONE needs to cut you a break!" "They OWE you a meeting...you're PAYING them to HELP you...." Etc. Get the picture? There's SO much more to this story, but it's rubbish, and there's no point in flaying that fish right now. The point is, I've been adamant about SOMEONE giving my husband some bloody help!
All this time, he's been working for every orchestra in the state of Indiana trying to make money for us to pay bills, while also traveling three months out of the year to Pittsburgh to play in the pit for their opera orchestra. He's been a long term sub there, and very recently someone raised a fuss about him not being on contract. Our immediate fear was that he was going to lose the job and what those ramifications would be for the rest of his career -teaching AND playing. A true nail-biter, let me tell ya'.
We were there for New Years Eve. The Opera has a gala, and so they hired him to play for it. It was wonderful -singing, dancing, and desserts! We even got to witness a marriage proposal!!! So romantic. This whole time, I'm worrying about his contract and job. At the end of the gala he tells us (we're with some new friends!!!) that they've offered him a contract, and he'll become a full section player!!!!!! YAYYYYY!!! *insert all sorts of happy dances*
It was in this moment that I realized my dear, patient, respectful husband had received his break; and from the least likely place. His unyielding faith and personal responsibility allowed him to persevere and win himself a job. A REAL job. I also realized that I wanted him to have some sort of forward progression so that I could move forward too. That his door could open my door so we could move forward together. The good news is that this is now possible. The bad news is that I need to make peace with all of the bad things that have happened to him on his journey. The second peace of good news is that this happened to HIM instead of me for a reason. I'm not sure what that is yet, but I have faith that I'll figure it out. That's the good thing about believing -you know you don't have the answer...YET.
Happy Glass Half Full, friends! I hope you have a Monday full of wonderful things!
Keep on Keepin' on~
2000-What?
Dear Bloggers,
I write this post with a joyful heart, and with a little guilt too! It's been since OCTOBER since I last posted, and honestly...I miss you! I must admit, though, that this post is mostly selfish, so I'll get right to the point.
I titled this post 2000-what? because 2010 is a year I am not proud of (mostly...). I started this blog so that I could vent. I'd lost my whole support system and was (and still am) living in a place I don't consider home. Well, even though I haven't posted in months, I still consider my blog to be vital to my life, and in many ways, a "home." I realize that my blog isn't important to you in the same ways it's important to me, BUT, as a fellow blogger and woman (I know there are men in blogland...just most of you are of the female nature...), I know you understand WHY I need this "home." So.... I was inspired to write this post after meeting new friends for New Years and old friends for a nice long chat. I am reminded of what my life is to become and what it has been, and I refuse to remind myself of the things I'm leaving behind by choice, or residual icky 2010 baggage. I'm saying goodbye to 2010, and am thanking it for it's opinion, but...no thanks.
I said goodbye to a bad job. I said goodbye to friends (some by choice, some not so much...). I said goodbye to some bad familial relationships. I said goodbye to the me that let people make me feel bad. I said goodbye to lots of pride. I said goodbye to cable tv (BEST choice ever...just sayin'). I also said goodbye to some of my faith (not necessarily by choice...).
PEACE OUT 2010.
This year, I am resolving not to resolve. I am being honest with myself. Why make promises to myself that I'm honestly not going to keep? I am living my life with high goals and NO expectations. I am loving my family, even if they can't love me back. I am being a true spouse to my husband (because we all know he WAY deserves it). And I am not going to be afraid of what I don't know. God hasn't left me -I just need to remember keep my eyes open for him.
My friends and family lovingly reminded me that it's alright to not know; that it's alright for there to be a question mark in my life. They reminded me that a past is the past and that a journey requires one step at a time (take a small bite of the elephant; it's not much, but you're still a bite closer...). My family reminded me of unconditional love and compassion. My husband shows me what I cannot show myself, and allows me to be what I am -good, the bad, and the ugly (although, according to him...there is no ugly! HA!! We'll see how he feels in 20 years....). The family I work for shows me that life comes in all forms and it doesn't matter if you're not perfect.
Welcome, 2011. I am embracing you with open arms and a free mind. Give me your best shot, I dare you.
Keep on keepin' on~
I write this post with a joyful heart, and with a little guilt too! It's been since OCTOBER since I last posted, and honestly...I miss you! I must admit, though, that this post is mostly selfish, so I'll get right to the point.
I titled this post 2000-what? because 2010 is a year I am not proud of (mostly...). I started this blog so that I could vent. I'd lost my whole support system and was (and still am) living in a place I don't consider home. Well, even though I haven't posted in months, I still consider my blog to be vital to my life, and in many ways, a "home." I realize that my blog isn't important to you in the same ways it's important to me, BUT, as a fellow blogger and woman (I know there are men in blogland...just most of you are of the female nature...), I know you understand WHY I need this "home." So.... I was inspired to write this post after meeting new friends for New Years and old friends for a nice long chat. I am reminded of what my life is to become and what it has been, and I refuse to remind myself of the things I'm leaving behind by choice, or residual icky 2010 baggage. I'm saying goodbye to 2010, and am thanking it for it's opinion, but...no thanks.
I said goodbye to a bad job. I said goodbye to friends (some by choice, some not so much...). I said goodbye to some bad familial relationships. I said goodbye to the me that let people make me feel bad. I said goodbye to lots of pride. I said goodbye to cable tv (BEST choice ever...just sayin'). I also said goodbye to some of my faith (not necessarily by choice...).
PEACE OUT 2010.
This year, I am resolving not to resolve. I am being honest with myself. Why make promises to myself that I'm honestly not going to keep? I am living my life with high goals and NO expectations. I am loving my family, even if they can't love me back. I am being a true spouse to my husband (because we all know he WAY deserves it). And I am not going to be afraid of what I don't know. God hasn't left me -I just need to remember keep my eyes open for him.
My friends and family lovingly reminded me that it's alright to not know; that it's alright for there to be a question mark in my life. They reminded me that a past is the past and that a journey requires one step at a time (take a small bite of the elephant; it's not much, but you're still a bite closer...). My family reminded me of unconditional love and compassion. My husband shows me what I cannot show myself, and allows me to be what I am -good, the bad, and the ugly (although, according to him...there is no ugly! HA!! We'll see how he feels in 20 years....). The family I work for shows me that life comes in all forms and it doesn't matter if you're not perfect.
Welcome, 2011. I am embracing you with open arms and a free mind. Give me your best shot, I dare you.
Keep on keepin' on~
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